


How Do You Regulate Superheroes?

by ErnieThePyle



Category: Avengers, Comic books - Fandom, Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 20:46:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7005775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErnieThePyle/pseuds/ErnieThePyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>FAA Mulling New Rules For Flight-Based Powers</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Do You Regulate Superheroes?

Tony Stark buzzed a private Learjet at 30,000 feet last week. The plane was bearing his ex, Stark Enterprises CEO Pepper Potts, and the billionaire better known as Iron Man purportedly got close enough to the plane for passengers to see a bunch of wind-swept roses and a handwritten sign proclaiming “Romance is Coming!” clutched in Stark’s gauntleted hands. 

Stark, a major Game of Thrones fan, vigorously denies he ever put the plane in danger and Potts has not commented. So far, the public seems to have accepted Stark’s answer.

The Federal Aviation Administration however doesn’t seem to be quite so understanding. The skyways regulator is currently in the early stages of new federal rules aimed specifically at superheroes, sources have told the Bugle, although the idea was apparently first floated long before Stark’s latest stunt. Sources note however that the idea was first brought up around the time Stark used his drone armors to sky-write “The North Remembers” in the air above 15 major cities, all at the same time, after Game of Thrones’s infamous Red Wedding episode aired. 

The lengthy regulatory process means any new rule could be years away and radically different from what’s originally proposed, but working ideas include required flight-paths, minimum distance standards that flyers must keep from commercial aircraft, and perhaps dedicated radio channels for superheroes to keep in touch with each other and flight controllers on the ground. 

“I’ve lost count of how many of these guys there are up there,” one FAA official said on the condition of anonymity. His name is Herb. “We’ve got guys with wings, guys with rockets, guys who can just teleport into and out of thin air, at least when they’re recognized in continuity. And most have never been to flight school or set foot in an aviation safety course.” 

The most recent estimates put the number of flyers at more than 20, and that’s before counting heroes who can glide, float lightly or just jump really, really high. They come in all shapes, sizes and power-sets, and somehow, they all seem to have their own anachronistic approach to the skies with little in the way of continuity or even in some cases common physics, and that of course is before considering a hammer that may be partially sentient. 

Thor himself was asked once how he manages to avoid crashing into obstacles when his hammer’s flight appears based almost purely on momentum. His answer? “Walls tend to get out of my way.”

Superhero advocates note that Thor seems to largely only hit what he’s aiming at. But the question remains, with so much variety and so little conformity between capes, costumes and power sets, how do you set federal regulations for flying superheroes? How do you enforce them on people who by definition exist outside the normal bounds of the law? And do you really want to? 

Efforts to reach Stark for an interview have been met with laughing publicists and a lot of heavy metal blasted on voicemail. Few other flyers have been willing to talk for the record, although the Avenger known as The Vision did provide a lengthy lecture about how density control affects air buoyancy. And apparently the Infinity Stone is afraid of heights. 

Experts who’ve studied capes and costumes note that any plans for regulation are likely to cause a considerable stir in the superhero community, one that has already devolved into a slugfest when the United Nations attempted a more comprehensive set of rules. 

After Roy Yeng stops geeking out about rocket boots and why Sam Wilson, A.K.A. The Falcon, doesn’t wear a mask—thus hopelessly limiting his flight ceiling—the Georgetown University PhD speculates that airborne guidelines would be extremely hard to enforce.

“It’s pretty hard to fight purple pants-wearing dragons and file a flight plan,” said Yeng, a political scientist who’s been studying superhero lore since Tony Stark first came out. And no, we’re not quite sure what he’s talking about with the dragon. 

“These guys only really work because they operate outside normal channels, outside badges and hierarchies,” Yeng added. “They already don’t operate within the law, and while I get that it can be dangerous to buzz airliners and phase into jets just as they’re taking off because you missed the flight [a story The Vision has repeatedly denied], you can also see why you can’t just start slapping regulations on these guys.”

Yeng did note, and FAA sources said the idea has come up, that superheroes might be granted the same leeway as emergency responders, although even those aircraft are subject to oversight. 

The FAA itself was tight-lipped when approached for direct comment, with a spokesperson telling the Daily Bugle that the agency will comment when it has something formal to announce. A spokesperson did however give a shout-out to team Iron Man. 

Backroom chatter about potential regulations, and any mention of an incredulous Nick Fury screaming that he’s “had it with these mother-#@$@ regulations on these mother-@$#& superheroes,” amounts to little more than rumors, according to the kaki -wearing PR flak. 

Some have likened the superhero regulatory debate to that of drones, a burgeoning new technology with vast potential for good even as critics raise fears of privacy concerns and a total lack of oversight. 

“This Vision fella can walk through walls. The ones with wings can go pretty much anywhere. Who knows what that witch-woman does with her spare time and don’t get me started on the bald cripple with the psycho mumbo,” TV commentator and superhero critic Heather Golding said last week, a barb that has gained considerable traction in social media. 

Bugle polling, while not specifically targeted to flight-regulations, shows that the sentiment is widespread. Two-in-five respondents to a poll conducted when broader superhero regulation was being considered said that they felt the costume set operated with impunity. Nearly four in five said they worried about Peeping Toms and just about everyone wondered why they’ve heard all about a man who talks to insects but there’s been no substantive media coverage diving into the mystery behind Natasha Romanov, the Black Widow. 

Sources say there’s no clear date for when the FAA rules might be formally unveiled and future events, and future stunts, could easily change the timeline and even the scope of regulations. Stark, for instance, has spoken repeatedly about his wish to see non-purple-pants-wearing dragons in the skies. 

“I’ve got a mechanical version of Drogon almost ready to go, and it’ll be able to fly,” Iron Man tweeted out the other day, complete with a photo of a very realistic looking, and very large, black dragon under construction. The next Tweet said simply: “Fire-breath is coming.”


End file.
